


the only one who can date akashi is

by Fleurwinks



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Crack, Drabble, M/M, pls this is just something i thought of at 2am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3197915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fleurwinks/pseuds/Fleurwinks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teiko friends muse over who Akashi will end up dating (or capturing, if you ask Aomine).</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>this is small and shitty but since it is so small surely you can read it</p>
            </blockquote>





	the only one who can date akashi is

**Author's Note:**

> I have a serious i.e. not crack mayuaka fic thats in production stay tuned folks

Akashi is so supreme ("Supreme," Murasakibara drools) that even his Teiko friends wonder who he will end up with.

"Aka-chin likes money," Murasakibara says, typically slowly. "So someone like a dentist or an idol."

“Or a sugar daddy,” Aomine smirks and Momoi kicks him.

“ _Where_?” And Momoi kicks him again because now they have to explain the true meaning of sugar daddy to Murasakibara.

“But Akashicchi already has enough money,” Kise muses. “He’ll marry for power, not wealth."

"Oh," Aomine says, like he understands now. "You mean more like a pim--"

“He won’t settle for less than a princess, obviously,” huffs Kise. “Or a duchess, at the very least.”

“Sei-chan needs to be in control,” argues Momoi. “And a relationship is no exception!”

“You’re both wrong; he wouldn’t want to control his partner, but ultimately he does not want to be overpowered,” Midorima’s glasses glint.

“Let's be honest, it would have to be someone off their shit crazy. No one would willingly _be_ in a relationship with Akashi,” says Aomine.

“Yes, because Aka-chin scares people.”

“Using that logic, you could argue Akashi-kun could scare someone to be with him, with use of manipulation,” Kuroko says. “So someone who is timid, or not outspoken.”

“But he would get bored with them,” protests Kise, "which is why he needs a super powerful queen, like I said!”

“You said princess before, idiot.”

“Shut your piehole Aominecchi.”

 

They end up putting a bet on it, and agree that the next time they all catch up they’ll ask Akashi about his mystery ideal person. (And then word gets out he actually  _got together with someone_ and he's going to  _bring them to meet his friends_ and Kise makes sure to bring along an autograph book while Aomine freaks out because he's "not ready to meet a real life 'psychiatric' ".)

 

So when Akashi shows up with the most ordinary boy imaginable, everyone is a little, well, _lost_.

  
“Who was that?” Kise asks as soon Mayuzumi leaves the cafe for his train. 

“Chihiro,” Akashi raises an eyebrow at the colourful and confused group. “I believe I introduced him at the beginning.”

Momoi pipes up, “Yes, but….him?” Akashi turns to face Momoi and says, “Is there a problem with that?”

The look on his face says that if there is, they’d all better start running so Momoi backtracks frantically.

“No, Sei-chan! We’ve just been anticipating who you were dating for so --" Kise cuts over the top of her:

“Is he from a prestigious family?”

“Is he a druggie? Ow, Satsuki!”

“Is he obedient?”

“Is he rich?"

“Are you the dominant one?” Momoi presses, and even Kise blushes a little at her shamelessness.

Akashi isn’t fazed. "Satsuki, you’ve gathered data on Chihiro; surely you can make an estimate."

Momoi lets out a frustrated cry. “Please just tell us, Sei-chan, it’s driving me crazy."

Akashi tilts his head slightly and everyone holds their breath.

“I’d say there is a balance of power,” he says.

No one replies for the longest time and then, all at once, they break out in squabbles over who's guess was the closest.

  
“Technically,” Midorima starts, “I had the premonition most akin to Akashi’s situation.”

He receives the cash they pooled and blows it all on an essential lucky item.


End file.
